Week 5: 100 Day Journey of Nourishment

Here's a compilation of my videos:

Being a part of the GiveIt100 challenge has been quite rewarding and even though these 10 second videos only begin to touch on all the aspects that are going on in my life, I've truly appreciated what I've seen and the choices I've made. And even if the uncut footage isn't shared publicly, something is happening when I view them for myself.

I've talked about my body transformation, the changes I'm making to eat and enjoy real, beautiful foods and how my dining room table has become a sacred space. Connecting with others and with myself, remains at the heart of this nourishment. Exploring why I over think and calculate my actions is an old pattern, one I'm fairly certain I no longer need. Though how do I honor it, see the gift and beauty and continue to move forward in my life?

I'm paying attention to my intuition, allowing it to guide me with what I share publicly. Sometimes I hold it in, sometimes I release it and sometimes I let it just be. What I haven't talked about, are the pieces that are stepping forward about the relationship with my mother, my ability to mother myself and my own desire to become a mother. I wondered this morning: what if it isn't painful for me to hear others celebrating the creation of new life? What if I support them on their journey and support my emotions too? And what if I trust that what I'm doing is leading me to a space where I can receive anything that comes my way (with or without a child). And that forgiveness and self-compassion will allow a transformation to occur in all of these relationships. 

Last week I found myself in a valley of my journey, digging in to discover the roots of many pieces and as I reached out for support, I received this message from my holistic nutrition counselor, Maggie and I wanted to share.

"Emotions are just feelings in the body that want to be expressed.

You don't have to 'do' anything with them.

Just allow them to be there and notice the sensation in your body.

You don't need to 'think' about the feeling.

See if you can make peace with the feeling.

Suffering happens when you go to war with the feeling and think it shouldn't be there.

I know it can feel scary, but just breathe and allow the sensation of the emotion in your body." 

With Love, Jan

Week 4: 100 Day Journey of Nourishment

Here's a compilation of my videos:

Opportunity for Self-Compassion

Friday

I celebrated and honored my 18 month anniversary with my food changes by updating my profile picture on Facebook to this. So many great people sent support and love my way and I reminded myself that these comments are mirrors I can look at when I'm feeling less compassionate with myself.

Yesterday

It's been 18 months since I began choosing to avoid (gluten, dairy, refined sugar, highly processed foods) and since then, they just haven't been in the house. Even as my husband makes more traditional food choices, he remains one of my number one supporters on my journey. He's been in the battlefield with me (sometimes by choice and sometimes because it's all you can do when you live with someone else.) He's played witness to my transformation and has truly been here, along side of me, encouraging and supporting me.

So a few weeks ago when I began seeing Maggie, my holistic nutrition counselor, I let him know, "I'm prepared for things (the way I eat, how I process foods and how I nourish myself) to change again around here." He was of course fully supportive. And even as I've been making salads, adding Nori seaweed, he's added them to his also. He's also been supportive of eating at the dining room table.

Though yesterday something happened as I came home to fill my fridge full of beautiful greens & veggies to batch cook today. As I began loving placing all the nourishing foods away, I noticed he went shopping too. In the cupboard: mac & cheese, in the pantry: ripple potato chips and in fridge: top the tator. And I froze.

I've grown used to seeing these foods in the "real world" and passing them by without a second thought. Though there was something about them being here, in my home, that brought forward a very real fear & I thought, "What's to stop me from eating all of those things? I'm home, no one would see and no one would need to know." 

My husband thought he did something wrong, though it wasn't him or even the foods. It was something inside of me, that had me feeling this way and thinking these thoughts. A good cry allowed for release, though I felt unmotivated to do anything else. I wanted to honor what was going on and ignore it, all at the same time, realizing both can exist next to each other. And while the thought of food came in as a self-soother, I choose to catch up on episodes of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon (laughter = self-soothing and allowed for space). And after 5 hours (a considerably shorter time frame than it has previously been), I recognized that this was an OPPORTUNITY FOR SELF-COMPASSION.

This Morning

I still feel it, though maybe now, I'm actually FEELING it. So before I get into the kitchen to become a Fearless Food Prepper, because I want to cook with love, I'm sharing this vulnerable piece, going out for a walk and making a choice to nourish myself in another way.

With Love, Jan

Week 3: 100 Day Journey of Nourishment

I'm going to let my Vlog do the talking. And even though I may have posted less blogs, my journey, the GiveIt100 daily - 10 second video postings and my journaling are speaking loudly and passionately. This week, I'm including a vlog, along with my 7 - 10 second videos of the past week.

Here's a compilation of my videos, along with a vlog about my 3 week experience:

With Love, Jan

Week 2: 100 Day Journey of Nourishment

This week I shared one of my most vulnerable moments, the fear that arises when I talk about my relationship with food. In doing so, I found myself camera shy for a few days, though I didn't realize that at the time. I journeyed inward to support this and in a moment of release recognized that this is all part of the journey. Reclaiming my choice to be in front of the camera and share my journey was liberating and reminded me of the continuous cycle of life. I was only a week and a half into the project and somewhere an idea to STOP came in. This is why I am doing my GiveIt100 project, allowing me to share in the moment, to be present with the piece of me that wants to shine or shy away and to love the journey.

Here's a compilation of Week 2!

With Love, Jan