I FEEL Good

Like I Knew I Could

    Something happened today, I realized how truly good I feel. I've felt it before, but it just clicked, like a light switch. 
    There has been so much support for my emotional journey and my physical transformation. Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of myself and do a double-take. "Who is this gal? I think I recognize you, but it has been a while since I've seen you."
     But there she is, standing more aligned, beaming with pride and with 1/5th of July's body weight transformed (that's 60 pounds, now weighing 240), and I stop and look and see - it's me!

What we see, can be different than what we feel. 

    As so many people have complimented me along the way, I didn't quite know what to do. I had this awkward moment where I forgot that I had changed (yes, sometimes this happens), so I'd pause, remind myself they were complimenting me and say thank you.
    But what I wasn't allowing myself to do, was to actually enjoy the compliment, to let it soak in and accept it with a grateful heart. 
    So I started exploring why. Maybe it was because I can still name 10 things I'd like to change about my body? No, that wasn't it, it was something deeper, something that was barely recognizable - self-confidence. 
    Me and my body used to be in this love-hate relationship and after years, confidence dwindled down into a tiny speck. But I started to notice it growing, like a tiny seed, taking root into my heart. It wasn't just from the weight loss or the compliments, it was confidence growing for the entire journey I am on. 
    So last week when a coworker went out of their way to come up to me and ask in the politest way, "I don't know how to say this, but have you lost weight?"  
    I beamed with pride and said, "yes."  
    "Well you look amazing. Keep up the good work." 
    And this time it was different, I didn't have to try and figure out who she was talking to. I didn't have to find words to move past the compliment. Instead, I allowed myself to FEEL it. To hold the compliment as a precious jewel and to admit that "I FEEL Good."