It's About Choices

Sometimes I Think...

How easy it used to be to grab a bite to eat

How drive-thru's seemed quicker than preparing something at home

How this new way of eating is challenging

And sometimes I chose to eat, rather than feel

Yes, I used food to cover over | stuff down | hide from 
what I was really feeling inside

Food was my addiction
and though I thought I hid it, 
my 300 pound body hid nothing
No, that wasn't fair | right | or wrong 
it just was what it was
And sometimes I chose to hide, rather than shine

I think about how I used to look. 
I think about how I used to feel.
And it crumbles there.

Not so much in the looks. No, it's in the feeling.

It wasn't normal to have weekly/daily migraines or stomach issues.

But trying to be normal or judging myself
was just another mind field waiting to explode

And sometimes I chose to judge, rather than love

Yes, I'm sensitive to foods
(Truth is, I always was, I just ignored the signals)

Yes, if I go out to dinner
I ask for every ingredient in the dish.
And if I need special accommodations, I ask for them.
And if you make me something, I'll ask too.
This isn't personal, it's my life.
Now, I'm choosing to love my body more than food.

How can I be living my life 
with a significant percentage of my physical self gone, 

But choose to feel more like who I was meant to be?

 Because this time, 
my journey of 

healing | transforming | loving

has given me strength to make choices
And in those choices
I've discovered my beautiful gifts.

They just lived inside of me

waiting for me to 
Choose to Shine

Let Me Shine: I Love To Bake

My love for baking brings tremendous joy to my life and my heart always shines a little brighter when I am creating something in the kitchen. Since the age of 3 I have loved taking flour, sugar, butter (or Bisquick for that matter) and making something delicious to eat. But in September 2012, when I began changing the foods I ate, I struggled with this passion and the internal debate began. 

"Can both my passion for baking and 

my O.M.I. Life food styles exist?" 

    For months, this question haunted me. I've tried pushing myself into only doing gluten-free, dairy-free, refined sugar-free and corn-free baking. And while I loved being able to enjoy these sweet treats (my mini-donuts and pineapple upside down cake are truly amazing!) I felt the tug on my heart to bake my other favorite treats (my Cake Pops are both magical and my craft!)
    So, a few months ago when my husband asked me to whip up a sweet treat for his work, I found myself inspired to make 10 different types of mini cupcakes. Those flour, sugar and butter creations made my heart sing and I was filled with the passion I hadn't felt in a long time. I rediscovered my love and gift for baking (and his coworkers loved them too!)
    Feedback was overwhelmingly positive and to hear they were cleared out by lunch time, I felt blessed. Not only had I jumped in whole heatedly to the challenge, but I used my gift and that felt great. But a little light shined down that day. There were a few people in his office who had Celiac, nut allergies and were diabetic. My heart burst open, I can make treats for them too and even though I cannot guarantee there will be no cross contamination, I can do my best, because I get it!
    So for the next cupcake birthday celebration, I paired those traditional ingredient mini cupcakes with one of my O.M.I. Baking treats! They flew off the shelves and the feedback was equally as lovely. It isn't easy to feel restricted with what you have to eat when your body tells you so. Anytime someone understands that, but also makes something that works for my diet, there is this connection and the thoughtfulness of love simply cannot be described.

The Answer: Both Exist

    Yes, I feel better with the food changes I've made. Yes, I've created a beautiful transformation. And yes, I continue to know this is the right journey for me and I hope that everyone can reach their point of motivation, satisfaction and love within their lives.

    But, I also still love to bake with "traditional ingredients" and just because I don't eat these things, my other senses guide me on the deliciousness of these treats.
    And maybe one day I'll bake only one way or the other, but today, I choose to use my gifts. To bake in both worlds, because when it comes down to it, I Bake From My Soul with One Main Ingredient... Love and that's beautiful.
    I invite you to check out my baking blog: onemainingredient.blogspot.com. It's a work in progress and now that I've finally come out of the "baking closet" I'm sure it will receive more love, (no more fighting the gifts I was given) Let Them Shine!