Pride & Joy

Changes

Over the course of the last few years, my life has changed, I've changed. Who I once was, how I saw the world and what I bring forward has transformed. Intention setting, writing, blogging and holding the pieces of my heart have created more healing and ultimately, more happiness. By being present, introspective and aware, I've been able to play witness to growth. Sometimes the growth came out of a painful place, a place where deep healing work was needed to cultivate the life change. Other times it was in the sound of a cricket, the flapping of a birds wings or the babble of a creek that brought forward the space of love.

Most recently I've become more in tune with HOW my healing journey is nurtured. Sure, I'd make space for it, because I thought I "had to" and while that worked for a while, the struggle to align had a heaviness to it. A shift occurred as I began working with Maggie - her nurturing presence allowed me to mirror this for myself. To trust that within me there is a loving, compassionate and authentic place I too can learn how to do this. As time goes on, I continue to receive areas where more light, more love and more truth can come in. It may not always be easy and it's in the letting in, even after hours, days or months of struggle, I find out something new about myself.

Minnesota State Fair

Many of my recent blogs (OK, for the better part of the past 23 months?!?) I've focused on my body
transformation, batch cooking and lovely nourishment received when I feed my body what it needs. What I haven't talked about, at least not here, is my love for baking. It's my craft, my hobby, one of my places of happy and it also feeds my life. From the most traditional recipe (hello, gluten/wheat, dairy and refined sugar, which I choose to not eat) to some fantastic Paleo recipe (which I lovingly enjoy eating) - I just love baking. It brings me joy and in the alignment of doing what I love, I can still be found whipping up something sweet in my kitchen.

Since this blog is all about finding the happy. It's time to talk about my other blog - that baking adventures I enjoy here: OneMainIngredient.blogspot.com. I'm choosing to take the focus from WHAT I make, to HOW it is made... with love.

Recently, I had the exciting opportunity to enter my Cake Pops into the Minnesota State Fair Competition and here's my blog post: http://onemainingredient.blogspot.com/2014/08/mn-state-fair-competition.html. This was more than a competition or some dazzling display that captured the essence of the State Fair, no, it was so much more than that, it was an opportunity for me to learn, heal and grow.

There were moments as I was baking I could feel my arms shaking and times when the anticipation of the outcome overrode my enjoyment of being present. Even as I handed in my beautiful baked goodies, I found myself flooded with anxiety and joy, all at once. Fortunately, the friend, (one of the best actually), stood beside me, acknowledged where I was at and allowed for nurturing compassion to come in.

Yes, I'm proud of my win! Grateful I found the courage to continue on with it (even when I tried to talk myself out of it). Though mostly, my heart knows this was essential to bring me forward into a new space of growth. And just because I don't know where it's going, what the end result will be or how I'll be changed, I know that by showing up, being present and saying yes, I'll wind up where I am meant to be.

With Love, Jan