#ReflectionTime

Woke up this morning with these words on my heart
"Make way for space to heal"
What's in the head is ready to step forward
How "I" become concerned with external details
And awareness of the gap of incomprehensible size

Let the morning write about intangible space.
Awaken to it willingly, though not on command.
In a space surrounded with healing,
Deeper than any life long search could find.

It's not a physical space, though I used to think it was.
Because when waves crash against aged rocks,
Mountain peaks stand firm against blue sky,
A veil is lifted and the connection to the sacred was shown.
And so I thought those were the only places it could be found.
Though after time, awarenss revealed it is here, inside, always.

Introspection Interruption

It's interesting to note, as words took shape and thoughts winded into a valley.
There were other words written here.
Something about church and religion and the stories I kept telling myself with feelings of disappointment, shame and regret.
And yet, here are the published words.
Discovering acknowledgement was needed, rather than write the details
Making a choice, I see the stories for what they were,
Find a way to pin them to a space and time and allow for healing.

Introspection Continuation

I write, unaware of where this is going, words form
And on a weekend, where I arose before the sun,
The written are shared with you, those that visit, though mostly for me.

Many healings and new layers have presented themselves over the last few months.
Finding myself flooded with ideas of what I should blog about. 
Recognizing the "should's" don't come from my heart center.
And looking closely, the "should's" were holding me captive to narrowing, painful and destructive thoughts and feelings.

As I navigate into deep layers,
The pages of my journals fill with words.
Compassion is provided by holistic nutrition counselor
And sacred times with friends, create exploration space.

And in the vulnerability, I kept thinking I had to share it all.
That I was being inauthentic because I wasn't pouring it all out for the world to see. And so I stopped blogging from that space.
A healthy pause to acknowledge where the "should's" come in.
And as I settled into the discomfort, I found myself wedged into a small space, a prayer was sent, "Help me to trust this is meaningful and to hold my healings with compassion and love."

And so today, the words pour out and the desire to write about this quiet struggle steps forward.
Acknowledging the way thoughts, emotions and should's can hold captive the desire to write.
While respecting that these stories and all that is coming forward remain in the space they are meant to be.

With Love, Jan